Find the words and use correct definition in context in writing:
miniature
stationary
delicious
desperate
separate
tentative
He approached the heavy, rotting oak door... placing the palm of his hand against the cold, wet wood, he gently pushed...
Complete this 200 word challenge... Find the words and use correct definition in context in writing: miniature stationary delicious desperate separate tentative Write a mystery story that begins with the sentence:
He approached the heavy, rotting oak door... placing the palm of his hand against the cold, wet wood, he gently pushed...
34 Comments
Emily R
10/9/2015 06:17:12 pm
He approached the heavy , rotting oak door... placing the palm of his hand against the cold , wet wood , he gently pushed... Suddenly to his surprise he discovered what appeared to be a mysterious , antique wardrobe. He came further into the cold , barren room until he came face to with the wardrobe. The boys' hands were trembling with anxiety and fear. As he placed his hand on the knob of the dirty , brown wardrobe , a strong stench of dust hit him in the face . The boy coughed violently trying to catch his breath. He stood stationary asking himself wether or not he wanted to explore the wardrobe further... He was tentative about exploring further into the wardrobe. He was desperate to find out what was going on exactly in that mysterious cupboard of wonders . Eventually he managed to pull up the courage to open the wardrobe... One... Two... Three... He shut his eyes and ... The boy was surprised about what he had discovered . The boy felt silly about the face he was afraid for all that was in the wardrobe were some old , dusty cloaks . Suddenly a delicious smell of custard donuts worked it's way to the boys' nose. He then discovered a miniature box and next to the box was a miniature key . The boy removed both items from the wardrobe. He used the small key to open the box . Inside the box there were two parts . The boy wasn't afraid to separate the two parts as he still felt silly about the whole wardrobe fear . He separated the two parts and found a beautiful diamond and ruby ring!! The boy then excitedly slammed the box shut and shouted , '' YAY , WHAT WAS I SO AFRAID OF??? ''
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G Murphy
14/9/2015 09:23:20 am
Really well structured and pacey. This is a creative and interesting piece of writing. Well done.
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EvaW
11/9/2015 09:09:16 am
He approached the heavy,rotting oak door ... Placing the palm of his hand against the cold wet wood, he gently pushed... He approached the warm house on the wooden floor you could hear his boots gently clacking. Standing stationary he looked around the house and saw a miniature monkey he thought it was cute , but he wanted it out! Something smelt delicious he was desperate to see what it was. Suddenly heard two kids outside fighting he went out and separated them they were getting on his nerves. He went into a room upstairs it was full of science stuff it was so tentative to mess about down stairs he heard the door open he heard clacking on the floor “get out of my house” the person down stairs shouted the man ran for it!! ......
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G Murphy
14/9/2015 09:25:48 am
There are some interesting sentences and word choices here. Well done. Re-read your work to make sure that it flows and you use words in the correct context. Check use of 'tentative.'
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Jessica.H
11/9/2015 09:19:34 am
He approached the heavy,rotting oak door...placing the palm of his hand against the cold,wet wood,he gently pushed and the by the creak of the door he was in...! In the distance their was an tentative,old man who had an very old Ring hidden under the sleeves of the mans arm.After the mysterious man who was breathing heavingly while looking for somebody in the building who had what he came for.Shivering the old man was watching through a little hole through the door in the closet,where he was hiding.He spotted a Woman coming after the man he knew this woman and the man they used to be his best friends when they where very little and they would,laugh,play and hang out all the time but then their dad got rich because they where brother and sister and they only cared about money and them.Out of then evil and vile siblings the oldest was Conor but Molly was in charge,she was in control of everything the had or done or said! They would never be separate because they didn't like anyone else.The old man was in desperate need for help and he was stationary he couldn't move at all.Miniature,the old man was has a condition called dwarfism so he found it wasier
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G Murphy
14/9/2015 09:29:21 am
This has good content and is an interesting plot line to follow. However, please be careful with your sentence structures as they do not always flow. Capital letters are not always used accurately either. A good attempt. Well done.
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Kobe
11/9/2015 09:26:22 am
He approached the heavy,rotting oak door...placing the palm of his hand against the cold, wet,wood, he gently pushed...He stepped into the house and the door closed!Jim was regretting coming into the house. The house was creepy and spooky.
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G Murphy
26/9/2015 08:34:38 am
Great description and very thoughtful content. Well done. Super effort Kobe.
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EvaW
11/9/2015 09:27:21 am
He approached the heavy,rotting oak door ... Placing the palm of his hand against the cold wet wood, he gently pushed... He approached the warm house on the wooden floor you could hear his boots gently clacking. Standing stationary he looked around the house and saw a miniature monkey he thought it was cute , but he wanted it out! Something smelt delicious he was desperate to see what it was. Suddenly heard two kids outside fighting he went out and separated them they were getting on his nerves. Suddenly he heard the door open down stairs clacking on the wooden floor "who is in my house!"
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G Murphy
26/9/2015 08:36:13 am
Well done, you continued the story well. But, your work is unfinished. Make sure you don't leave sentences half written.
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Halle K
11/9/2015 09:27:27 am
He approached the heavy, rotting oak door.... Placing the palm of his hand against the cold, wet wood, he gently pushed... He didn't know what to expect but there right before his eyes there was a miniature person stood there with an axe! Despite the fact that it was the day before Halloween, there was something far worse coming ahead! Peter took his first step into the house and knew that something was wrong. The lights were flickering on and off and the desperate,small girl disappeared. Peter thought to himself that there was nobody else in there and kept walking through the house with his flashlight. He saw some delicious chocolate brownies in the kitchen and he was debating wether or not to eat them, but lucky enough he didn't! But did he know he was being watched? I wonder?
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Halle K
18/9/2015 08:56:48 am
He approached the heavy, rotting oak door.... Placing the palm of his hand against the cold, wet wood , he gently pushed... He didn't know what to expect, he was very confused. Right before his eyes there was a miniature, strange child standing right infront of him with a axe! It wasn't just a normal axe it had blood stains and cobwebs all over it! Despite the fact that it was the day before Halloween, there was something far worse coming ahead. He took his first step into the house, very tentitive but he was brave. He thought to himself that there was nobody else in the house. Slowly he pushed another door into the kitchen and in there were spiders webs, blood, open cans of off beans and flies everywhere. The lights where flickering on and off. Little did he know that he was being watched? The floor board creaked as if it was a rusty, old door in a horror film. There were screams which where ear deafening and then it went silent. He turned around to make his way out and there was the little girl. He screamed and ran out through the back door!
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G Murphy
26/9/2015 08:37:33 am
Excellent work. Well done Halle. Great punctuation and super ideas.
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Elle
11/9/2015 09:27:36 am
He approached the heavy, rotting oak door... Placing the palm of his hand on the cold,wet wood, he gently pushed... Feeling tentative of what was going to happen scared, worried but yet feeling brave. Max took one step closer to the door! The door unlocked freely, a light glowing in the distance of the eerie, shallow hall way. Slowly, but calmly yet still not alarmed about what was ahead of him. Max was heading for the unearthly light!!! This light was bursting with neon colours spinning in the shape of a ball , the ball looked like it was made of some sort of electric!
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Elle
18/9/2015 08:40:37 am
I am inproving my first one..........
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G Murphy
26/9/2015 08:38:57 am
I like your improvements, well done. Your word selection and punctuation use is great.
Elle
18/9/2015 08:54:47 am
He approached the heavy,rotting,oak door....placing the palm of his hand on the cold,wet wood! He gently pushed...feeling the suspense between himself and the creepy looking man staring at him in the doorway. "Erm hello" said max in a fearful king of voice. Max was so scared that he dropped his phone and it smashed everywhere. "Follow me !" Said the tall man.Slowly but calmly yet still not alarmed of what was ahead of him. Max was heading towards the unearthly light which was ahead of him.He walked down the gloomy, earpiece and scarily creepy hallway the this door opened and he was led into complete darkness...
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G Murphy
26/9/2015 08:41:20 am
Great... this is even better. I enjoyed this.
Elise
11/9/2015 09:27:44 am
He approached the heavy, rotting oak door... Placing the palm of his hand against the cold ,wet wood he gently pushed it open as bens house was very old. But just then he heard a bang, the door was slam shut.(but therefore Ben was the only one who lived there.) Ben rushed to his bedroom. He wanted to go under his bed covers but there was a big body shaped Lump Ben needed desperate help he stood stationary and was very tentative.
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G Murphy
26/9/2015 08:47:51 am
Well done, I enjoyed this. A lively piece of writing. Keep up the good work.
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SadieM
11/9/2015 09:27:51 am
He approached the heavy, rotting oak door... placing the palm of his hand against the cold, wet wood, he gently pushed... The door creaked as it opened and he seen the dusty staircase... when he was walking up the squeaky stairs, the wind was blowing in through the open door. He reached the top of the staircase and a nest of miniature spiders came crawling out... They crawled up his legs but he managed to escape. He then saw a nice, dark red door he pushed it open and it was pitch dark and the man got a suspicious smell of burgers and all of the sudden he was hungry... He managed to find the light switch and he seen a burger on a table in the middle of the room. It looked delicious, the man was desperate for the burger...........😎
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G Murphy
26/9/2015 08:46:45 am
Well done, a good passage of writing. Some effective word choices.
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Izzy
11/9/2015 09:28:24 am
He approached the heavy, rotting oak door...Placing the palm of his hand against the cold, wet wood, he gently pushed. The boy crept into the cottage no one was in he need food and water supplies. Desperate he ran into the kitchen when he heard the door slam shut behind him he pushed with all of his might but it wouldn't budge. He saw a figure standing behind him he was to frightened to look.he turned around and saw a miniature figure scurrying across. It definitely wasn't a mouse it was a ..... Little man ! He shouted get out get out before they come back. The boy thought what people but then there they were two twin girls standing outside. He rubed his eyes to see if he was dreaming but he wasn't . As he looked up he felt a breeze on his neck he turned around and the twins were behind him he stood stationary to his position.
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G Murphy
26/9/2015 08:45:19 am
Super writing and excellent sentence structure to make it a more enjoyable read. Well done.
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RomillyN
11/9/2015 09:28:29 am
He approached the heavy, rotting oak door...placing the palm of his hand on the cold, wet wood, he gently pushed...there in front of him, lying against the decaying bones was a man in old ripped clothes and torn through shoes. He had a long white beard and sparkling blue eyes, he had no hair although James (the slightly terrified boy) could imagine what it might of looked like. The old man had a wheezing cough and said only one word..."Kelly". The ideas of how he got there and what had happened, raced through James' head. Questions with no answer. James knew that he needed a name and tried to ask him but the man did not answer and had no intention of moving. He seemed very stationary indeed...No one could live hear so James tried to lift him. He was very heavy because James was considered miniature to his mates and had no upper body strength , James then decided to whip out his smart phone and call his mum.
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Romilly N
18/9/2015 08:59:42 am
He approached the heavy, rotting oak door...placing the palm of his hand on the cold, wet wood, he gently pushed...Suddenly James became stationary to his position. There lying in front of him was an old man against the decaying bones of the old shed. He wore old ripped clothes. Scarlet red torn shoes. His beard was brown and looked like it was a nest for birds. The old man had a wheezing cough and said one word... " Kelly". James hauled the old man home wondering where he came from and what had happened.
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G Murphy
26/9/2015 08:42:17 am
Super work! Great word choices and super tension created. Well done.
G Murphy
26/9/2015 08:49:03 am
Great ideas and effective use of punctuation, well done Romilly.
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eleanora
11/9/2015 09:29:00 am
He approached the heavy, rotting oak door... placing the palm of his hand against the cold wet wood,he gently push and he was at at his old home. Godrics Hollow. Hermionie and Harry step tentative int to the house. There was an miniature elderly woman in the house. Barfilder Bagshot! "Are you Barfilder Bag shot?"Harry asked.
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G Murphy
26/9/2015 08:43:19 am
Excellent dialogue and great ideas. An enjoyable passage of writing.
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Rachel.M
11/9/2015 09:48:28 am
He approached the heavy, rotting oak door... placing the palm of his hand against the cold, wet wood, he gently pushed… it was stationary. Even if James kicked it down, it would not move. He was determined to pass that door. He pushed once, then a second time… it opened; it creaked like an old wooden plank. He swiftly glanced around, the miniature room. He'd assumed it’d be bigger. It was a damp, mossy, stone room with artichoke green vines dangling from the ceiling. James saw a trapdoor, it had no holes and it was solid oak wood. He wondered what was down underneath him, there could be anything. He walked over to the mysterious trapdoor and opened it… he jumped down, he saw an unusual figure in the distance. He heard a howl… he knew exactly what it was, it was, a wolf! The wolf looked at him, eyeing him like a delicious meal. He screamed for help; desperate for someone to hear him.
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RachelM
18/9/2015 08:56:49 am
He approached the heavy, rotting oak door... placing the palm of his hand against the cold, wet wood, he gently pushed... It was stationary. Even if James tried to kick it down, it would not budge. He was DETERMINED to get past that door. He forced it open once, then a second time... It opened. It creaked like an old woman's back. He glanced around, looking for a secret passage. In the corner was a trapdoor, James jumped down. CRASH!!!!! He hurt his ankle. He heard something... HOOOWWWL! It was a wolf. He shrieked for help.
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G Murphy
26/9/2015 08:40:15 am
I like this Rachel. You have used punctuation and font styles really well to enhance your work. Well done.
G Murphy
26/9/2015 08:44:10 am
Super ideas and an enjoyable passage of writing. Well done Rachel.
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