Words to research -
verdant
silky
azure
vibrant
rustling
whispering
Approaching the brow of the hill, the sun was rising in the brightening land...
This week I would like you to find the definition of the following words then use them in context in a 100 word story that begins with the sentence opener below.
Words to research - verdant silky azure vibrant rustling whispering Approaching the brow of the hill, the sun was rising in the brightening land...
28 Comments
eleanor a
8/9/2015 09:05:22 am
Approaching the brow of the hill, the sun was rising in the brightening land when all af a sudden there was a russling. Then the russling got louder and the azure sky faded then there was a whispering sour and harsh sound "we are coming, we are coming for you!" Then right in front of him there was a hooded figure in silk material that draped over him like over grown clothes. The boys vibrate eyes became smaller and smaller the more he look in the beasts eyes. The verdant grass became frosty and all went dark as if all the happiness was drained out of the world... Then the the fight the was terrible. How do I now I
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G Murphy
17/9/2015 09:02:20 pm
Some good description in here, and punctuation use. But please try to make sure that you check spellings by proof reading.
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Izzy
8/9/2015 09:13:11 am
Approaching the brow of the hill, the sun was rising in the brightening land. The silky,verdant grass was swishing in the cold autum breeze whilst the rustling of the leaves echoed in the distance. The azure sky glistened with the light of the sun.
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G Murphy
17/9/2015 09:04:10 pm
There is evidence of good writing here. But there are spelling errors and quantity needs to increase.
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Elise
8/9/2015 09:13:20 am
Approaching the brow of the hill, the sun was rising in the brightening land ... The sun was shining,in the azure sky while ,the rustling leaves were slowly falling on to the silky ,verdant grass swayed in the cold Autum weather.
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G Murphy
17/9/2015 09:06:00 pm
You need to check your tense as it changes throughout here. Also, spellings and punctuation need to be looked at by proof reading.
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Elle.c
8/9/2015 09:13:27 am
Approaching the brow of the hill,the sun was rising in the brightening land ... all u could hear was the rustling of the squrriels in the bushes , the birds tweeting like there singing a song,whilst gliding across the summer time azure sky.
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G Murphy
17/9/2015 09:07:57 pm
Elle, the use of punctuation here is very poor. This does not really make sense. It is written without thought for the reader. Be careful.
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Jessica.H
8/9/2015 09:13:29 am
Approaching the brow of the hill,the sun was rising in a brightening land with silk verdant everywhere you go.Jack was travelling through Hillside field to get to the Kings vast castle to tell him about the thief which is roaming around the village!!! It was a beautiful,calm day with the Rustling flowers and the azure sky when Jack who is only 10 has to go to go and see the king.
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G Murphy
17/9/2015 09:09:57 pm
The standard of punctuation and quantity is not up to standard. Was this your best work? Your tense changes throughout too. You will need to improve on this.
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S
8/9/2015 09:13:46 am
Approching the brow of the hill, the sun was rising in the brightened land. The leaves rustled as Fred walked to the beach. He looked up at the azure sky and sat on the silky sand. Fred swam to a verdant island in the sea.
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G Murphy
17/9/2015 09:10:58 pm
Please continue this or explain to me why it is so brief.
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Halle K
8/9/2015 09:14:12 am
Approaching the brow of the hill the sun was rising in the brightening land... the azure sky was beautiful until... It wasn't so blue, it went to a greyish kind of colour! There was a rustling sound from the trees and it got louder and louder each minute. A man came up and started whispering all different kind of things. The countryside was dark and grey and horrible! This man just kept speaking to me and I didn't know what he was saying!
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G Murphy
17/9/2015 09:13:07 pm
You have used description well but the tense changes really are a problem with the passage. Be careful with this.
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Kobe
8/9/2015 09:14:15 am
Approaching the brow of the hill,the sun was rising in the brightening land...I was walking to my friends house (I was feeling vibrant).We are going to the airport to go to Germany.Outside the airport was verdant.
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G Murphy
17/9/2015 09:16:02 pm
You used punctuation well and sentence structure is good. However, use descriptive language and produce greater quantity please.
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Kobe
18/9/2015 08:56:34 am
Approaching the brow of the hill, the sun was rising in the brightening land... I was having a great breakfast also it was a great morning.The sun was as bright as gold,peeking through the trees.Yestarday I went to Germany.
Nathan
8/9/2015 09:14:33 am
Approaching the brow of the hill,the sun was rising in the blighting land . The verdant grass swade in the soft,whispering wind. A azure blue sky was appering from behind the dark,dull clouds.
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G Murphy
17/9/2015 09:17:52 pm
Nathan, re-read your work to check spellings and use more complex sentences and varied, higher level punctuation.
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Nathan
18/9/2015 08:58:55 am
Approaching the brow of the hill,the sun was rising in the brightening land. The verdant, green grass was swaying in the cold,morning wind.The reddish sky was swiftly changing into a beautiful azure blue sky.
EvaW
8/9/2015 09:14:34 am
Approaching the brow of the hill, the sun was rising in the brightened land. John walked out of his bungalo onto the verdant grass ,he looked up and saw the azure sky. The leaves of the trees rules as a gust of wind flew by them. John walked back into his bungalo the bed was messy the silky cover fell on the floor John picked them up and neatly folded them onto the bed. John ran across the room like he was vibrant. He heard a little knock on the door it was Lou.
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G Murphy
17/9/2015 09:19:21 pm
Commas need to be used more effectively and some words are used in the wrong context. Proof read your work please.
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RomillyN
8/9/2015 09:14:50 am
Approaching he brow of the hill, the sun was rising in the brightening land... The birds sung with a sweet soft melody and flew over the bright Sun that painted the sky a mirage of pinks and oranges. Water glistened with a vibrant azure of coulor as it trickled over the grey stones.Verdant grass brushed up against the large stone pillar of a castle which held a princess brushing her long, silky hair.
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eleanora
14/9/2015 03:22:16 pm
This is really detailed and fun to read
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G Murphy
17/9/2015 09:23:11 pm
Good writing. This has interesting descriptive choices and some effective punctuation. There are some spelling errors... can you find them?
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Rachel
8/9/2015 09:15:38 am
Approaching the brow of the hill, the sun was rising in the brightened land. The silky, verdant grass looked vibrant with the shimmering sun. The leaves on the trees - rustling loudly as they fell.
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G Murphy
17/9/2015 09:24:18 pm
A good start... can you write at greater length now?
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eleanora
11/9/2015 08:42:33 am
These stories are really good 😀😀😀
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