Write a diary account of life with a family on a farm after being evacuated during World War 2.
It must have authenticity - be relevant to the time.
It should include ambitious, new words and contain paragraphs and varied punctuation.
300 word challenge...
Write a diary account of life with a family on a farm after being evacuated during World War 2. It must have authenticity - be relevant to the time. It should include ambitious, new words and contain paragraphs and varied punctuation.
31 Comments
Matthew
3/10/2015 08:20:51 am
Dear Diary,
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G Murphy
13/10/2015 09:12:13 pm
You write with an awareness of the time and some authenticity. You could write at greater length and in greater detail though.
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Dear Diary,
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G Murphy
13/10/2015 09:14:49 pm
This is a superb piece of writing that is successful for many reasons. Great authenticity makes it very engaging. The structure and punctuation use is excellent and your competence as a writer is very clear. Well done. Print this off for our WAGOLL display.
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Rachel.M
5/10/2015 04:55:39 pm
Dear Diary,
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G Murphy
13/10/2015 09:16:30 pm
This is another very good piece of homework that was great fun to read. It has good content and punctuation use and is written with an awareness of the time.
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ELLE
5/10/2015 05:55:47 pm
Dear Diary,
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G Murphy
13/10/2015 09:36:51 pm
Good ideas included here and you write with a good awareness of the time. The content is fun and engaging to read. Check that your word selection is correct, 'chosen' not 'chose.' Great effort though, well done!
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Halle
6/10/2015 07:12:30 pm
Dear Diary,
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G Murphy
13/10/2015 09:38:48 pm
A really enjoyable read that has a good, authentic feel about it. You wrote with enthusiasm and it really shows. Good punctuation use too. Well done!
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Max M
6/10/2015 09:45:46 pm
Dear Diary September 10th 1940
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G Murphy
13/10/2015 09:40:04 pm
Great content and great punctuation that really was a pleasure to read. Well done! You wrote at a very good standard here.
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lydia
7/10/2015 02:50:00 pm
Dear Diary,
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G Murphy
13/10/2015 09:41:06 pm
Well done Lydia. I enjoyed this. A convincing passage of writing that was structured really well.
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connor.Be
7/10/2015 05:57:50 pm
Dear Diary,
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G Murphy
13/10/2015 09:44:18 pm
Good content that is quite authentic and interesting. Please take care to use capital letters for proper nouns.
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Lilly k
8/10/2015 03:08:48 pm
Dear diary
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G Murphy
13/10/2015 09:48:53 pm
This has good ideas Lily. It was fun to read. But if you look back over it you will see what really concern me about the passage. There is a total absence of effective punctuation. You cannot work at a high level and write without punctuation like this. Print this off in school and go through it with a wish pen please.
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Dear Diary,
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G Murphy
13/10/2015 10:05:08 pm
This passage has a real, authentic feel to it. It is a controlled and interesting passage that is well structured and engaging to read. Your punctuation use is effective too. Well done! 2xhp
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Jessica.H
8/10/2015 05:07:54 pm
Dear Diary,
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G Murphy
13/10/2015 10:11:11 pm
An enjoyable read that has a sense of being written at the time. Some good content. To improve this can you vary your sentences and use commas effectively to shape meaning in the sentences.
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Nathan
8/10/2015 08:30:30 pm
Dear Diary,
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G Murphy
13/10/2015 10:08:08 pm
This is a good passage that refers to the time effectively. Well done. It was engaging and interesting. Write at greater length next time please.
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Halle
9/10/2015 06:31:51 pm
Dear Diary,
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G Murphy
13/10/2015 10:12:53 pm
See other comment that I have written for this passage please Halle.
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izzy
15/10/2015 07:00:12 pm
Dear Diary
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G Murphy
29/11/2015 11:09:24 pm
Good passage of writing, you wrote with authenticity. Check your use of the letter i for I please.
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G Murphy
29/11/2015 11:11:19 pm
Good diary writing. Well done.
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Sadie
15/10/2015 07:17:54 pm
Dear Diary,
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G Murphy
29/11/2015 11:11:47 pm
More detail would improve this passage.
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